Learning to fly, but I ain't got wings

Orphan Hope

2012-02-22T21:46:00.000-06:00

So the other weekend, Eriek and I joined some friends and ran in the Orphan Hope Marathon relay.

Let me stress the relay part of it as I am certainly not an endurance athlete! Being charged with running the shortest leg of the relay (4.6 miles in the hilly trails of Huntsville) was a little intimidating for me, so an entire marathon is definitely not on my near future to-do list.

Since beginning our journey of adoption back in September of 2009, I think a lot about our little chinababy, Zoe. I wonder what she looks like and what her little personality will bring to our family. I wonder who her biological parents are and what they are like. I wonder what the troubling circumstances are that surround her little life. I wonder what is so hard on the parents that they have to give her up. I wonder how they abandon her. I worry about her being left on a dangerously busy street, or on a cold, rainy morning, or in a crowded market where no one can hear her cry. I worry about how well the orphanage is taking care of her. It breaks my heart to know she might be crying but no one can pick her up to soothe her, so I cry with her and I pray through our tears. I pray for her constantly, and I pray for those around her, taking care of her. And I wonder who is praying for the others...

My heart has definitely been broken for the orphan, specifically my little Zoe, but now I feel connected and burdened for all of them. So when my sweet friend Danielle (who is also adopting!) suggested doing the marathon relay for Orphan Hope International, I had no hesitation at all and even roped my husband and friend Jill into completing our team!

Orphan Hope International's mission is "to positively transform the lives of vulnerable children and those ministering to them through Christ-centered Mission Trips, Padrino Program, Adoption Awareness, Safe Houses and Vacation Host Program." This marathon was specifically to raise money to build a safe house in Columbia. I love these organizations that have such huge hearts for some of our littlest ones in need!

Our team name was Team Hope, and the verse we were given was Psalm 31:24. So of course I had to make team shirts because that's just what a girl's gotta do.

I made the back of our shirts for Zoe

And the back of Danielle's shirt for their Ethiopian baby

Of course Arella wanted to support the cause too...

(it's says "Zoe's Big Sister")

After the marathon was over, Danielle captured so beautifully into words the journey of adoption, I just have to share her quote:

"I can only imagine that the journey of adoption is very similar to the marathon I ran today . . . You start with a burst of energy, the dream of your adopted child hard and fast on your heart, then you settle into a steady pace: research, applications, paperwork . . . there are setbacks, moments you think, maybe I should have stopped and turned around a long time ago . . . you think the path is going one way, almost to the finish, and then you realize an unexpected turn has happened, you still have a long way to go . . . but you're never alone and you can't do it without those who love you (in fact, I only ran 8.5 miles of the marathon today, three other friends ran too, and many others were there to support us) . . . and all the while you know you will make it to the finish line, because you were made to do this. You were made to be courageous and strong, you were made to have faith and live in God's will. You were made to love sacrificially. You were made to run the race set out before you with endurance. And the reward will be better than you could have ever imagined!"

Here is part of Team Hope- Danielle, me, Arella (honorary member) and Eriek

And here's Danielle with our clutch final teammate Jill!

Thank you God for this awesome journey we have found ourselves on!

Blogvoidance

2012-02-16T22:46:00.000-06:00

So it's been a little over a year since I started this blog. I was steadily gaining steam throughout the year, then I pretty much dropped off the map last fall. It wasn't because I forgot about the blog. It wasn't because I didn't have the time (although I could probably get away with that excuse). And it certainly wasn't because I didn't have anything to say. I'll be honest: I was avoiding it.

I know, I know... it doesn't make a lot of sense to start a blog just to avoid it. It wasn't my intention. I started the blog to bring all the aspects of my life together in one place because I'm always feeling so tugged in so many different and random directions. If for no one else, just for me to have a place to simply be me- any aspect or side of me that happens to need an outlet.

Instead of being open and honest, and using this as the outlet I intended it to be (and NEEDED it to be), I got scared and embarrassed of what people would think. That's a big hang up for me. It's something I've worked really hard at getting past, but in this world it's such a toughie. I have made a lot of progress in that respect in a lot of areas, but apparently I have still have some work to do as I was scared to humble myself here. So, I'm doing it now.

To make a long story short (believe me, I could make this into a really long story...), after Arella was born, in the back of my head I was still thinking about diving again. Not platform, my body is way too beat up for that, but springboard was still a real possibility. And the more I tried not to think about it, of course, the more it consumed my thoughts.

It got to the point where I wasn't just thinking about playing around, but in my head I was seriously thinking about a comeback. But then the other half of my brain was shouting at me 24/7 with reasons why that was such a bad idea. This really began to tear me up inside. I couldn't discern which voice was mine or which to follow. Did God really want me back in the pool? Did He have plans for me there? Or was it just me seeking some sort of selfish ambition?

After tons of prayer and discussions, several things started to fall into place so I would be able to get in the pool and train. So I did. And I only know one way to train, so I gave it everything I had.

It was quite the juggling act balancing working out and taking care of the baby, but we got into a rhythm and things were going surprisingly well. I decided to compete at Winter Nationals in December because it was the last opportunity to qualify for Olympic Trials. I had no idea if that's what I wanted to do, but I wanted to give myself the opportunity if that's the way things happened to shape up.

About a week before Thanksgiving, the reality of everything kind of hit me. I have always LOVED training and competing, but I was tired of it. Don't get me wrong, I was enjoying myself because I absolutely love flipping through the air and ripping through the water, but finally at 34 years old and after 18 years of the sport, I was simply tired, and my passion to be at that level again was gone.

It was a little sad to realize this, but honestly it was more freeing to me, to finally feel like I could let go and move on. I decided to go ahead and compete one last time for fun since the meet was just a few weeks away and I would get to see my diving friends at Winter Nationals. So I put together an easy list of dives and traveled to Tennessee for one final hoorah.

Probably because my heart wasn't completely in it any more, I didn't dive very well in the qualifying event leading up to the meet, so I didn't make it in individual. But sweet Erin Mertz of Purdue entertained an old lady by throwing a synchro list together and diving with me on the last day of nationals. We had fun and even qualified for the 2012 Olympic Trials. And then I got to take my sweet little Arella up on the 10 meter platform for the very first time. It was a perfect way to wrap up my career, still making new memories.

Arella & I on 10 meter (she was pretty comfortable up there!)

Family picture on 10 meter

My synchro partner Erin and I with Arella on the award stand

Kenny, my coach who was there on my first day and my last!

Identity Crisis

2011-11-30T13:56:00.001-06:00

***Quick caveat- I wrote this over a month ago, but for some reason never got around to publishing it. Oh Mommyhood...

Apparently every 4 years or so I feel the need to do something drastic, so I take it out on my hair. I had a pretty good reason this time as Arella's little fingers were getting so intertwined in my curls it was hard to get her untangled sometimes. Plus my molting season has apparently begun, and I clogged up the drain and the vacuum cleaner with my shedded remnants. Classy, I know.

Since I discovered my freshman year in high school that my hair wasn't just frizzy, it had turned curly, I've loved it. In college a few times I felt I needed a change in my life, so I took began to take it out on my hair- dyeing it, bleaching it (really bad decision!), chopping it. I really wanted to shave it at one point, but I think that would've made my mom cry, so I left that to GI Jane. Apparently, my hair had become my outlet.

My hair had gotten really long going into the 2004 Olympics, so following the Games, I chopped it big time again and donated 12 inches to Locks of Love. I guess I forgot to cut my hair for the next few years, because it got really long again going into the 2008 Olympics. So of course, following the Games I chopped it again, donated 8 inches to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths. This time around I had about 8 inches again and let Visible Changes donate it.

When my hairstylist chopped off that braid, I immediately felt a weight lifted off my shoulders- one less hassle to deal with! Welcome to Mommyhood, hair style included. I felt so good walking out of there, but then I got home and just wasn't happy with the "do." I didn't really care so much because it is WAY easier right now, but sometimes it makes me feel like I'm going through an awkward stage again. Can't we leave that back in junior high?!

It really started to bother me that my hair style bothered me so much. I never seem to like it when I cut it short, but yet I get tired of it long and always chop it. So why don't I like it short? I began to dwell on this, certain I could get to the bottom of this big stupid hair crisis mystery. Then a light bulb showed up over my head.

I like my hair, and I like the way it looks long. This is the way people know me, this is the way I see myself. With it cut short, it's like I'm having a little identity crisis. The way I identify myself and they way others identify me, is often by my hair. It sounds a little silly to write on here for all the world to see, but if I'm being honest, my identity is a little bit wrapped up in the way I look, in my hair. It's a feature people always notice and give me compliments on. It's a feature that I'm usually pretty content with. And I just went a got rid of it.

It's made me realize that maybe I let myself wrap my identity in my hair a bit too much. And that's not the only thing I've let myself be defined by- diving is my other biggie. It's no secret I've always loved diving and had some pretty amazing experiences through diving, but I have let it define my life a bit. Now, I'm not saying these are bad things. We have talents and passions that very much define our path in life, but it's easy to let even good things take over too much of our life and begin to define who we are and not just the route we're taking.

What I've realized through my mini identity crisis this week, is that I've let many things in this world (including my appearance) define who I am. When those things are taken away, I feel lost, abandoned, exposed. But they are just things in this world that I'm clinging to way too tightly! I'm learning once again to let the things of this world go.

"Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Here I Am

2011-09-15T22:10:00.000-05:00

Over the last few years I have found myself with the same prayer on my heart:

"Here I am, send me."

In my heart I have longed to see what God has had planned for me. But when I get these tugs in my heart to "go", I suddenly doubt it must be from God and make up every excuse I can think of and try to rationalize my way out of it. Why don't I blindly trust Him?

I look at my daughter and she trusts and depends so completely and fully on me. She knows I will always be there to meet her needs, or even just hold her when she doesn't feel good. Why don't I depend and trust God like that? Why do I think twice and second guess Him? He created me, knows every tiny detail of me, He loves me, provides for me and will never leave me. So why don't I trust Him the way a little baby trusts her parents?

Things don't have to make sense to me. I can't worry about what others will say or think. I need to stop questioning and second guessing and I need to start trusting.

"If You say go, I will go
If You say wait, I will wait
If You say step out on the water
and they say it can't be done
I will fix my eyes on You and I will come

Your ways are higher than our ways
And the plans that You have laid
Are good and true
If You call us to the fire
You will not withdraw Your hand
We'll gaze into the flames and look for You"

Austin WETS Banquet

2011-09-15T21:40:00.001-05:00

Two weeks ago we took a little trip up to Austin for the annual WETS banquet. It was Arella's first road trip (she did awesome), and it was a great time to catch up with old Texas teammates, coaches and friends!

A nice little family picture

The Erwin Award winners

Vera & I with our UT coach Matt Scoggin

A very cool cow with Texas Hall of Famers painted on it by the amazing Robert Hurst.

On our way home we got stuck in traffic after a car was rear ended off the road. It started a fire and with the super dry Texas weather and the winds kicking up, it spread fast. Fortunately everyone seemed to be okay.

Real Hope

2011-07-27T23:15:00.000-05:00

Today marks 1 year til the 2012 London Olympic Games. I also just learned early this morning that a beloved Olympic Silver Medalist, Jeret "Speedy" Peterson took his life the other night.

This is a powerful and painful reminder to me how big and important things can appear to me, and how easily I can get caught up in them. I'm a dreamer, a big dreamer, and I'm always striving for something. That in itself is a good thing, as usually those dreams and passions are something that God places on my heart and wants me doing. But even when I'm striving for something "good," my focus can get distorted, placing way too much importance on that goal or dream, where it becomes the center of my life and the thing by which I measure everything else. Then suddenly without even knowing it, I realize that this great and wonderful dream has now become the idol which I am overly focused on, it's the center of my life, it's what I'm worshiping.

But a gold medal, a fancy diploma, a cushy bank account, fame, fitting in... these things aren't lasting, they're fleeting. Gold medals tarnish, the ribbons unravel; it doesn't erase your past or your problems or magically change your character. Diplomas are just papers saying you've spent X amount of time studying from a book; it doesn't mean you are now wise or know how to truly live. Money comes and goes and often creates more problems and more emptiness inside as you realize the things you buy will never fully satisfy you. Fame lasts for that quick 15 minutes and then people forget and cease to care about you; it's lust not real love. Fitting in and people pleasing is only trying to mash yourself into a box that you may not fit; it doesn't allow you to be your unique self and to understand how to give and receive true affection and love.

All these things are not "bad" things but when we are consumed by them, they are idols we are placing in our lives. They are all temporary, they will all fade away in the end. But the One who truly deserves and is worthy of our worship, offers a relationship that is eternal and has far greater reward than anything this world can offer. He will not leave you thirsting for more. He will not leave you longing for the next best thing. He will not cease to love you. He will never leave you. He will, however, provide for you. He will walk with you through the storm. He will fill your emptiness with a very true, very real and everlasting and loving relationship.

You don't have to clean yourself up to come to Him. As a matter of fact, He says you can't earn it, it's a gift. "For by grace you have been saved through faith,and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9) No matter what you've done or where you've been, He loves you and desires a relationship with you. His is the way, the truth and the life. He is Jesus, and the hope we have in Him is eternal and will never ever fade away.

When it rains....

2011-07-25T22:02:00.001-05:00

This past week has brought our first steady rains in quite some time. The Woodlands is usually lush and green with flowers everywhere, pretty much the tropical part of Texas. But 15 inches behind in our annual rainfall has left this area brown and dried up with people hiding in their AC filled homes this summer including on July 4th which for the first time that I can remember has not ended with a bang due to fire fears. With the rain this week, I was thankful that my yard is beginning to look green again, but I was also reminded of a few very special days in my life.

I've always loved rain and big storms, there's just something so awesome, scary and calming about them all at the same time. Maybe it's the intensity with which they come and hit, or perhaps it's that part of you that just wants to snuggle under a blanket with a good book listening to the rain, or the fun moments when you're caught out in it and it makes you giggle and want to step in a puddle. And it's kind of cool that three of the most important and memorable days of my life happened on dark and stormy days.

On September 24, 2000 in Sydney, Australia, as I headed to the Olympic venue nervous and excited for my final five dives, the ones that would end up catapulting me to the top of the podium, I stared out the bus windows watching the rain start to fall. As I walked down the long corridor between the pool and a wall of windows, I watched the rain come down harder, even a little sideways. I remember smiling, thinking, "These conditions are just perfect." And they were.

Two years later on September 7th, I was supposed to have a beautiful, much dreamed of outdoor wedding. But a few days prior we started tracking Tropical Storm Fay that was headed right for us, like a last minute uninvited guest. Fortunately the night before the wedding, an available room inside opened up for us to use. This room happened to be all windows on two sides over looking a pretty lake. I had the joy of being married nice and dry inside with the view of a lovely rain outside.

As we were counting down the days in May until our little bundle of joy came, it was really hot and dry and drought conditions were already apparent. I remember telling Eriek one day that I wouldn't be surprised at all if it rained the day Arella was born, it just seemed right. Well, she showed up two weeks early on May 11th, one of the only rainy days we've had this year.

There's just something about those rainy days. Maybe I just have a thing for water. But I think it's more of a reminder for me of God's promises.

Back in the day people were running amok, doing whatever they pleased, totally corrupted and full of violence. God saw that their wickedness was great and that every intent of their heart was evil, except for Noah who pleased God. So God decided to destroy every living thing (except those on the ark with Noah) with a great flood. After the rain stopped and the flood waters receded, God made a sign, the rainbow, to mark a covenant that He would never again use a flood to destroy the earth. So when we see the rainbow it is for God and for us to remember His covenant.

Dolly Parton has a great quote, "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain." I think that is why I love rain and storms so much, for the hope that follows it. Not every rain storm promises a great event in my life and not every great event will happen on a rainy day. But we all go through the storms of life and sometimes just feel like we're drowning. If we can look forward with hope and excitement for the rainbow to come, it makes putting up with the rain a lot easier.

Arella's Room

2011-07-04T08:58:00.002-05:00

Many of you know I started working on Arella's room back in February, and I have yet to post pics. Well, I finally took pictures and had a few minutes to get them on my computer

Everything is hand painted except the verse on the wall is a vinyl sticker. I'm tickled every time we change Arella's diaper because she loves to stare at her little monkey and even reaches out for it and smiles at it! That makes all the time and effort worth it!!! Enjoy...

Let the Games Begin

2011-07-01T10:47:00.001-05:00

I've had all of these absolutely brilliant ideas to write about on my blog, but as you can see it's been a month since my last entry. As any mom knows, these moments of wisdom and insight come at the most convenient times to write them down, like while driving in the car, or nursing a baby, or on the really rare occasion you get the chance to take a shower.

I feel like this past week has given me a fresh start. We discovered Arella has reflux and her medicine has helped in a huge way this past week and a half. So my previously upset and in pain baby is back to her happy little self, and this mommy now has a new sense of calm and peace. Last Saturday my husband watched Arella so I could go do Piyo at the gym. It kicked my butt and I was sore all over- one of the best feelings in the world to me! So that jump started me to get back into shape, and now I look forward to doing a little physical activity every day. And of course, my mom gave me this card that just hits the nail on the head:

I laughed so hard at this because it's so accurate! But it's also really made me think about a few things. Obviously things have changed for me in a big way. I have always been an on-the-go kinda gal and an athlete constantly working out. Now, there might be several days in a row where the closest I get to leaving the house is opening the garage door to throw the trash out and I glance at my car. I was a good girl and didn't work out at all until the doctor cleared me. Six weeks has to be the longest I've ever not done some kind of workout!

I knew these things would happen, I was ready for the change and had an idea of what would be coming. And I have to say, I'm absolutely LOVING having so much time with my daughter- priceless! But what keeps crossing my mind now, is what's next? Where will this road lead me? What does God have in store?

It's scary for me not to be planning out the next four year cycle of my life like I've been accustomed to. However, it's also freeing and invigorating to be on a new winding path. And today I will find my contentment staring into these beautiful bright blue eyes God has blessed us with.

New Mommy Musings

2011-05-23T14:50:00.001-05:00

Just some random thoughts from a brand new mommy.

For the first time in many months I can look down and see my feet, and boy do I need to take a chainsaw to my toenails!
I have only patted my stomach once referring to Arella then realized she's not in there any more.
My once little cute innie belly button looks more like a cavernous hideout for bad guys as my belly is shrinking back to normal size.
I have never had to pre-plan bathroom trips before.
A shower is now a rare treat instead of a daily necessity.
I used to plan my life in 4 year blocks of time between Olympiads; now I plan in 3 hour blocks around feedings.
Sleeping in spurts leaves me feeling like I'm in a state of eternal jet lag, but no cool new destination. However the view of my baby is breathtaking!
I'm the kind of person that doesn't sit still very well, but my daughter has trained me to sit and stay for hours on end and just stare at her.
I always wanted an iPhone because I thought they were really cool and you could check email on them. Now I have one and the only functions I use are an app to keep track of diaper changes & breastfeeding and texting pictures of Arella to her Daddy while he works.
I'm pretty smitten with this little girl of mine, and it breaks my heart when she cries and I can't figure out what's wrong. Sometimes I just cry with her.
So far she's a very happy baby and her accidental smiles and silly faces absolutely melt me!
I never thought I would be so entertained by diaper changes.
I think my wrist surgeries really helped me prepare for parenthood. I am very efficient at left handed typing and can do almost any domestic chore with my left arm only. That right arm works very well as a cradle even though my wrist doesn't bend much any more.
I was worried about how the dogs would react to the baby. Sam thinks she's a squeaky toy that smells good, and Charlie just wants to be near her most of the time.
It's amazing how an hour and a half round trip to the doctor's office can be a much needed and exciting outing, and then cause me to sleep most of the afternoon.
Even though my baby is on the smaller side, I keep looking at her and can't figure out how she was ever inside of me.
It's amazing how you can go from just another person to Mommy literally overnight.
I have been waiting for this for so long, after nearly 2 weeks, I'm still amazed it has already happened.
I find it a bit funny that we're taking Arella for her 2 week check-up tomorrow, on her due date.
I knew Eriek was excited to have a baby, too, and he's so good with kids, but he's taken the Daddy thing to a whole new level. He is the most amazing and supportive Daddy- I love you Honey!
I could keep writing these little tidbits all day, but I have to go stare at my sweet little angel while she sleeps.

She's Finally Here

2011-05-18T21:05:00.001-05:00

The moment we have been waiting for came upon us before we even knew what happened. Two weeks before her due date, she just couldn't stand it any longer, she had to come meet us. I'm glad she was as excited to meet us as we were to meet her!

Arella Joy was born on May 11, 2011 at 9:11am weighing in at 6 lbs. 10 oz. and 20 inches long. She's small but mighty, and (stealing from Mary Poppins) she's practically perfect in every way. We are absolutely in love with her and captivated by her presence. I cry pretty much every few hours because I'm so full of joy and awestruck wonder that she's actually here in my arms.

It's just starting to sink in that she's for real and here to stay, and I'm realizing it's already been a week. Oh time, please stop stealing my daughter from me! I am thoroughly enjoying every single moment as I'm finally a Mommy. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers when You didn't have to, You didn't need to, You simply wanted to. I am so unworthy, and so forever thankful for this most amazing blessing! Glory to God!

The Race

2011-05-02T22:24:00.000-05:00

In sports you have to believe in something before you will ever see it become reality. In sports you have to discipline yourself, training hard for hours, day in and day out for years to even attempt to accomplish a daring feat. In sports you have to keep your eye on the prize because it's the motivation to keep you persevering through trials and tribulations. In sports you have to have your head in the game every day at every practice so you continue to build on what you have learned before, so your limits become stretched and your ability grows beyond them. On the biggest stages in sports, desire, determination and perseverance will always win over talent alone. In sports, champions are often made after many failed attempts- that means they got back up again after a defeat. In sports, becoming a champion doesn't happen by standing on the top of the podium. You become a champion during the pursuit.

Life is really no different. The biggest problem in life is we have our eyes focused on the wrong prize. We're usually in pursuit of things we think are worth while like gold medals, diplomas, money, fame... the list goes on. While none of those things are bad things, they are all only temporary. Gold medals represent quite an accomplishment, but they will always tarnish and the ribbon will eventually begin to unravel. Diplomas show you have put a lot of time into studying, but not living. Money can solve many issues, but it also leads to unnecessary spending and distraction from what is truly important. While sometimes people can use fame to help bring awareness to certain wonderful things, fame in and of itself is basically idol worship. While there are truly wonderful people in the world, we are people and we all fall short of perfection. We will all stumble and mess up at times; people were not made to be worshipped but to worship.

There is only One who will never fail us or change or forsake us. There is only One worthy of our worship and praise. There is only One who can teach us how to truly live. And there is only One who can actually save us from ourselves and our final destination. He is not temporary or a fading icon. He is Jesus- the One who conquered death to save us. He is the One we run the race for. Life eternal with Jesus is the ultimate prize. That is where our focus in life needs to be so we run the race of life with desire and passion because we know Who we're running for and why we're running.

Now watch the race below with this in mind. This is not just any race, but one where a girl in a very important race with a team depending on her falls flat on her face in front of her own home crowd. But it's what happens after that we need to pay attention to. This video is not about the race. It's about Who the race is being run for. Let us run like this everyday in our lives for Christ.

Vote for Us!

2011-05-01T18:28:00.001-05:00

The Laura Wilkinson Foundation made it into the Pepsi Refresh project this month where we have a chance to win a $50,000 grant to help us begin building dreams in our community! We need your votes every single day for the month of May- that's all you have to do is vote! Start today by visiting:
http://www.refresheverything.com/laurawilkinsonfoundation

or by clicking here:

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;gt;P&lt;/p&gt;
Please help us spread the word and get the vote out to as many people as possible!!!

Jonah- As Told by Stuffed Animals

2011-04-19T13:11:00.000-05:00

Eriek had to come up with a big final project for his class this semester. He decided to get creative this time and make a children's book of Jonah using our stuffed animals as the main cast. He wrote a script out and then started envisioning what pictures he needed.

We live in The Woodlands, TX and there's this area called the Waterway that just fit the bill for this little endeavor. He wanted the Pavilion (where all the concerts are held) to be the big city of Nineveh, and there's plenty of water, boats and trees around it to capture the rest of the story. All-in-all, it was the perfect setting.

What I liked most about this project was that I was able to be of some help and spend time with Eriek while he worked on the project, instead of him being stuck on the computer writing for days and days on his own while I barely get to see him. Basically, I was the Puppet Master, arranging the characters as he described what he wanted for that part of the story.

Here I am setting up the Ninevites outside of their city as Eriek gets the framing for the shot set up.

As you can see though, these guys were tricky as they didn't want to stand on their own. We propped twigs under their feet and that helped until the wind kept blowing them over! Eriek finally got a great shot in between gusts...

Nice evil Ninevites, huh? They are happy little Beijing mascots plus a little Kuwait bear :) Then we moved on to the boat scenes. Jonah is the bird because his name means dove (foolish bird). The Athens mascots are the mariners. The people at the boat house were nice enough to let us use a kayak for our photo shoot!

Jonah being thrown overboard is one of my favorite pics! We used a wire hanger and I was dangling him over the water and we photoshopped it out :)

And, of course, the whale spitting up Jonah on the shore near Nineveh. (The whale was the mascot from the Montreal World Championships.)

And one of the last pictures was Jonah writing his story in the Bible.

There were many more pics, but I don't want to steal Eriek's work of art! It was just so much fun to do, and I think it would be a great project to do with your kids! Not only is it a lot of fun to take your silly stuffed animals and make them act out scenes in the Bible, but you get to know the story you're acting out much better and deeper.

Even if you don't have kids, be your own kid! I encourage you to try it with a friend- you'll laugh so hard while doing it, then you'll have pictures to look back on and smile at. And you'll probably get to know God a little more in the process.

Daddy's Pregnant?!

2011-04-13T10:30:00.000-05:00

So last night was our first "Prepared Childbirth" class at the hospital. One of the highlights was Eriek getting chosen to wear the "empathy" vest. The instructor first put a thick strap around his chest after he let his air out so he couldn't breathe very well. Then she had him place a weighted patch right above his belt so when he put the vest on it would put pressure on his bladder. Then she put the vest on which contained a 5 lbs. weighted pendulum that moved plus two 7 lbs. lead balls that also moved around (like a baby does). There was also quite a bit of fluid in the vest.

I think it gave him a good idea for a few brief minutes of what it's like being pregnant. He did after all perform the classic pregnant lady sit into a chair. I was very impressed.

See, it's almost like the real thing... but for about 5 minutes instead of 9 months, and no actual pushing the baby out.

New Favorite Toy

2011-04-08T08:31:00.002-05:00

So my belly has become a funny little fascination in the past few months. With Arella growing everyday in there, I have more and more to jiggle around and play with- and she plays with me sometimes! Eriek just laughs when I dance around bouncing my baby belly all over the place, but it has been quite the source for entertainment.

Although I now have a tendency that around the house I'll hike my shirt up letting my belly hang all out because darn it, it's just more comfortable that way.

However, I've noticed that in doing so, I'm resembling old Chinese men...

Hmmm.... not so cool...

Austin Fun

2011-04-06T11:12:00.001-05:00

Sorry this is long overdue! A couple of weekends ago, women's swimming and diving NCAA's were in Austin, so Eriek and I decided that would be a perfect final get-a-way for us before baby Arella comes. So for our final weekend as a couple, all we could talk about, of course, was the baby :) A fun surprise was the restaurant right by our hotel is called Baby A's and then right across the street we found a Zoe's Kitchen. (Zoe is what we've named our baby we're adopting from China, still a few years away). So we felt like both of our baby girls were represented that weekend!

We stayed at Embassy Suites and they not only have the most amazing hot breakfast, but they have this really cool pond with swans and giant koi fish! This definitely made us feel like we were on vacation!

One of the things I really wanted to do while we were there was try and get some good maternity pics. Austin is so scenic and beautiful, I was just hoping to find the right spot and get one or two good shots. Eriek did an amazing job as photographer giving me about 30 shots I just love! Here are some of my favs:

Of course taking pictures around Lake Travis works up an appetite, so we just had to stop for lunch at the infamous Oasis! They have built this place up so much since my last visit that it's becoming a big tourist attraction, but it still has that magical view...

And I found the lovely diving statue, which always makes this place feel a little more like home.

And one final picture to leave you with. Austin, although more liberal than the rest of Texas, is located in Texas, and you know we like to cling to our guns here in this great state.
So this is why you "Don't Mess With Texas."

St. Baldrick's

2011-03-16T10:59:00.005-05:00

Eriek and I went to a local Irish pub, the Goose's Acre, on Sunday to celebrate St. Baldrick's. Never heard of it? It's way more fun than just wearing green on St. Patrick's Day. It all started on March 17, 2000, when some people turned their St. Patrick's Day party into a head-shaving event to benefit kids with cancer. Their 20 "shavee" recruits planned to raise "$17,000 on the 17th." Instead, they raised over $104,000! Now 11 years later they have raised over $57 million for St. Baldrick's Foundation (the charity they started after that initial head-shaving event) which is committed to funding the most promising research to find cures for childhood cancers and give survivors long and healthy lives.

So, pretty cool concept. I've donated my hair before (cutting off 10-12") to make wigs for kids with cancer, but I'm not sure if I have the guts to shave my whole head. But there are many who are- men, women and kids. But you don't have to shave your head to help the cause, just be part of the events as it's now world-wide!
St. Baldrick's Foundation

Here are some fun pics from the event:

John lead off the day by shaving his greenish-teal hair... not sure why they left the beard...

Then we had some brave little men...

And I was most impressed with these women...

A lot of fun was had, a lot of hair was donated, and even more hair floated away in the breeze and into the Waterway. Hopefully one of these days we'll be able to knock out cancer just as easily!

Sweet Little Face

2011-03-10T11:30:00.001-06:00

So we're at 29 weeks, not too long now before we meet little Arella face-to-face. We had our 4D ultrasound today which was AMAZING! She made lots of fun faces for us and checked out right on track for her due date- May 24th. Enjoy the pics!

When we first said hello to her this morning, she was in a little ball (that's my flexible girl!). That's her right foot in the center, her big toe next to the profile of her nose which is right above her finger and thumb.

She stretched out her legs, but kept that left hand right by her face the whole time. There's a hint of a smile in this picture.

She worked that hand all around her face trying hard to suck those little fingers for a brief second.

This is by far my favorite picture because she has the sweetest smile on her face exposing an adorable little dimple on her left cheek, just like her daddy's!

She was playful, sticking her tongue out at us a few times.

She sure likes to smile, and here's a great big one. I can just tell it's the kind that comes with a big belly laugh!

I can't wait to hold her in my arms and kiss that incredibly adorable little face! Thank you Lord for this precious little miracle I can call my daughter!

Things About Diving

2011-03-03T12:31:00.000-06:00

So the story goes, I retired from diving following the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing. But after a hard couple of years and just missing it very much, I got back in the water in 2010 and competed 3 meter springboard (I'm usually the 10 meter platform girl) at the summer nationals. But shortly after that I found out I was pregnant (woohoo!) and had to hang up the suit. I've still been around the pool deck everyday helping coach the Woodlands Diving Academy team.

Although I'm very much loving being pregnant and looking forward to motherhood, I can't help but long to be in the water with the divers I'm coaching. Wondering where this longing was still coming from, I thought I'd make of list of the things I miss about diving and the things I don't miss about diving. Enjoy!

Things I Miss About Diving
1. Flying through the air at 30+ mph

2. Feeling like a superhero, leaping tall buildings in a
single bound

3. Being scared to death of something, but having the opportunity to overcome that fear

4. The awesome crazy teammates I've had, and the amazing people I've met along the way

5. The feeling of doing something to the very best of my ability

6.A reason to bring 2 families all together in one place (and get them to wear the same T-shirt!)

7. Being exhausted & sore at the end of the day, and knowing that means I've accomplished something

8. Overcoming an injury & "impossible odds"

9. Learning how to share the excitement of diving with someone else

10. It's just home to my heart, it's where I belong

Things I DON'T Miss About Diving
1. Nothing

All the things I thought I didn't like about diving (like putting on a suit first thing in the morning, or being tired and sore, or the frustration of injuries or fear) are also the things that I loved about it that drove me to work hard and push through difficult times. I love the sport with a passion that sometimes I don't understand myself, and I'm pretty sure I always will.

Thinking Pink

2011-03-01T09:23:00.000-06:00

I've never been particularly fond of pink. As a matter of fact, I only really started embracing pink as part of my own wardrobe around 30 years of age and that little bit of pink often came in camo patterns or with skulls and cross bones. That's my kind of girlie.

When we first found out we were pregnant I had no idea if we were having a boy or a girl. Apparently we were meeting all the old wives tales dead on for a boy. So much so, that my husband's sisters had me convinced we were having a boy. When we went into the "big reveal" ultrasound, I was just expecting to get confirmation of a boy, but instead we got a huge surprise discovering we are having a girl! I would have been happy either way, but it was so fun to be surprised! And knowing that we have our precious little China baby, Zoe, heading our way in a few years, too, we know there will be lots of estrogen in the house. Sorry Hubby, you will be outnumbered like your childhood... (he has 3 gorgeous and awesome sisters).

As I was brainstorming what to do in the baby room, I wanted some pink because that's so sweet for babies and little girls, but I definitely just wanted splashes of it. So the room is green with lots of whimsical creatures being painted on the walls right now. So far so good, just a little pink. But something must have snapped in my pregnant brain when I started registering for baby stuff.

I took Hubby to the store the other day to show him what we registered for and to see if there was anything he wanted to put on the registry list. After going through about half of it, he says, can I register for something that's not pink? All I could think was that this is what I was doing to our daughter:

That's like my worst nightmare come true! I can't handle that kind of pink or that much of it! But there are some super sweet pink baby things, though, that put images like this in your head, so you just have to put it on the registry:

And you can't help but say "Ah..." or "Oh that's so sweet!" But after Hubby's comment, I can't help but shake the feeling that this will happen:

I love princesses and playing princess for little girls, but I don't want it taking over our lives. This is the kind of girlie pink I'm envisioning for Arella & Zoe:

Pink Heroine, not Damsel in Distress.

Judging

2011-02-24T08:45:00.001-06:00

Last week I had the opportunity to judge diving at the Division III Southern Collegiate Athletic Conference. After 17 years as a diver and 6 months as a coach, this was my first time in the judging hot seat. I'll admit, I was pretty nervous. I understand how diving is judged, I know the rules, but Division III is a bit of a different animal because you have such a variety of athletes. You have the divers who just threw together a list after joining the team following a PE class that introduced them to diving for the first time in college. Then there are the divers that have been competing since age groups that could perform very well at the Division I championships.

Initially, I found myself judging a bit like Simon Cowell:

I didn't mean to, I was just judging more like a US meet rather than a D III college meet. Realizing that most of the divers were new to the sport and were so passionate about it, I found myself falling into more of a Paula Abdul kind of judging state, hoping to encourage them to keep working hard:

On the fourth and final day of competition, the women's 3 meter springboard really captured my attention. There were 3 girls that were close after the optional rounds, all within striking distance for the Conference Title. The girl that had led the optional rounds fell to third after the voluntary rounds, but only 2 points out of first. The girl that was in third place after optionals took the lead with one dive left. The girl that was second after optionals pulled ahead by .05 in the last dive. At every level of competition there are exciting dramas played out on the sports field, and I love when I get swept up in the excitement!

But my heart broke walking out of the pool that day. There was a young lady that had failed two dives, and she was crying because that disqualified her from the competition. I wish I had had words to encourage her in that moment but the sight of her just struck me deep and my heart just hurt for her. I don't think she has been diving very long, and I think she may have been on the team that didn't have a diving coach. But that doesn't mean she doesn't care or isn't passionate about what she's doing. The passion and love for the sport of diving that this group of athletes showed, far exceeds the passion that I see at many high level, even Olympic level events. So many athletes at the top just do it because they happen to be good at it, a parent has pushed them, it's a way to make a good living, or they just don't know what else to do. Honestly, I would say that probably just a small handful of elite level athletes actually have a true passion and love for their sport. Not that they never had passion mind you, but for many, the passion fades into something else as they rise through the rankings.

Seeing this raw passion from so many athletes at this D III meet really hit home, reminding me of me when I started and how I got through some difficult times. If I could go back and tell that young diver something, I would tell her to keep working hard! When you love what you do, it doesn't matter what the world thinks, give it all you have and enjoy every step. That is passion played out, the only true perfection any athlete can strive for...

Post V-Day Thoughts

2011-02-15T10:59:00.001-06:00

There was a time where I didn't care about Valentine's Day (except for the excuse to eat a lot of chocolate), then there was a time where I absolutely despised it, and now, honestly, I could take it or leave it.

When I was single I either avoided the thought of it altogether or I would sulk about it all night long. It's definitely different now being married, always having that special someone if we want to do something nice on this random day of February, but now that I have this special Valentine, I wonder why we make a random day to celebrate this union. We already have our anniversary which is a much more special day, and we can go on a date any time we choose. Valentine's Day just doesn't seem to mean a whole lot to me (other than the chocolate that I can still always go for).

But looking back when I was a little younger and remembering how hard it was to watch people couple off on that day when I was left alone to myself, I wish I had known then better where to find true love and fulfillment.

Even if you've found your perfect match, that person will still occasionally let you down, make you mad, or disappoint you. Our most ideal mate is still human, prone to falling short of perfection... just like us. But there is One who has declared His love for us before we even knew He existed. He wrote an entire love story for us full of adventure, battles, romance and a happily-ever-after ending that we all seem to long for. He's the One Who can truly fulfill that empty space in our hearts that people and things just won't ever complete. He is faithful to His promises and will never forsake us. On Valentine's Day and every other day of the year, we can celebrate true love with the One who is Love.

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." John 15:13

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." John 3:16-17

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:10

Texas Sports Hall of Fame

2011-02-12T12:07:00.001-06:00

On Monday night I had the great honor of being inducted into the Texas Sports Hall of Fame in Waco, TX. I had thought this was more of a Hall of Fame for professional men's sports as there aren't a whole lot of women or amateur athletes that have been inducted. But low and behold they voted little old me into the 2010 class, becoming the second diver inducted (David "Skippy" Browning) and the 18th woman out of 320 inductees.

I'm still surprised and greatly honored that the committee that voted me in views my accomplishments within the realm of these other amazing athletes and people. Donna Lopiano was another inductee this year and she is one of the people who paved the way for women athletes in college at University of Texas, me being one of those athletes who greatly benefited. The other amazing inductees were Pro Football Hall of Famers John Randle, the Vikings standout, and Emmitt Thomas, who played for the Kansas City Chiefs; Baseball Hall of Fame honoree Willie Wells, an Austin native who played in the Negro Leagues from the 1920s through the 1940s, former NFL quarterback Charley Johnson, Dallas Cowboys founder Clint Murchison Jr., former Cowboys receiver Drew Pearson and former Rangers catcher Jim Sundberg.

(We weren't totally ready for the above pic, but it'll do!)

The whole evening was so exciting and I'm thrilled that both my college coach, Matt Scoggin, and my long time club coach (17 years), Kenny Armstrong, were both able to be there with my family!

I grew up as a gymnast wanting to be the next Mary Lou Retton long before I ever found my way into diving. Of all the amazing things about this experience, one that really tickles my fancy is that I now have my Wheaties Box next to Mary Lou Retton's Wheaties Box in the Hall of Fame.

Ah... thanks God for allowing such a fun and special evening for my family and friends!

Through the Lens

2011-02-04T18:31:00.000-06:00

We just got a new camera for Christmas and took a basic class to figure out how to use this fancy thing. I've always loved pictures and the artistic way some people have a knack for shooting because it allows you to see the world through different eyes, a whole new perspective on life.

I am by no means a photographer and have no ambitions of becoming one, but I enjoy being behind the lens striving for that different angle, that fresh look at something ordinary.

Here was my little peek through the lens today at the perfect ice droplets we had on our rose bush:

The Bubble

2011-02-02T21:49:00.002-06:00

I live in a bubble. It's a magically beautiful place in suburbia full of middle and upper class people that work very hard, keep up with all the latest trends deemed important by every magazine and seem to have captured the American Dream. By all appearances, it would be the modern day fairytale kingdom where every princess wants to find her prince and live happily ever after.

I sort of did that. In the land of families, I found my single handsome prince who swept me off my feet (mainly because when we met I had one leg in a big purple cast), and we have lived happily since then in our small little patio home kingdom in the back of the woods.

I moved here because it was the best place to train. My prince moved here because it was a great place to coach. We stayed because it's beautiful, has everything we need within a 10 minute commute, and seems to be this safe little place that everyone refers to as "The Bubble" because no one ever really travels outside of it. There's just no need to.

But what I'm beginning to discover in my magical bubble land is that I have trapped myself with empty distractions, meaningless things to do, and some very backwards priorities. I've just really noticed lately that all around me people are doing the same thing and we just don't seem to realize it. It's time for us to wake up and pop our bubble.

One of the reasons I like my bubble is that I feel safe in it. But feeling safe and secure tucked away inside my comfort zone is the opposite of stepping out and trusting God. When we sit still in our pretend security, we become stagnant and stop growing.

Another reason I have liked my bubble is that I seem to have endless entertainment. But I'm tired of wasting the precious minutes of this one life I have been given to be entertained. I want to serve. I've volunteered a ton and helped a lot of people out, but if I'm truly honest with myself, it has not been with a servant's heart. It's been with a heart wanting to hear praise for my efforts and feel good about myself. I'm so tired of my own pride and vanity. I'm ready to serve so people praise God! (Matthew 5:16)

Along with endless entertainment, in my bubble I can always find something to do and keep me occupied. These things easily suck me in, and then I begin to make them my priorities. They may look good on the surface, but when you break it down, they are often empty and truly meaningless.

God loved me while I was still His enemy. He died intentionally to pay a debt I could never pay on my own and to top that off, when I accept this amazing gift of grace, I have a place in eternity with Him. How can anything, no matter how good it looks here with our earthly goggles on, come even close to that? Why do we care so much about keeping up with the Joneses when they can't buy us a ticket to heaven? Why aren't we sharing this great news with the Joneses?

These are just a few of the reasons that I'm ready to pop my bubble. I'm ready to live a life full of true glory; not pretend, trendy, earthly glory that fades every 15 minutes and requires you to continually live up to some random person in the media's standards of greatness. I'm ready to live a life that center's around an unchanging God who's love knows no bounds and Who has written the greatest love story in history specifically for each one of us. There is truly no match for happily ever after in heaven with our Savior.

Hats Off

2011-01-28T21:54:00.000-06:00

I have fallen into the trap that so many of us fall into: I wear a lot of hats. None of us live a life with just one aspect, one role to play. I am a follower of Jesus, a wife, a mommy-to-be, an athlete, a motivational speaker, a foundation president, a coach, and a constant volunteer. Several times a day I'm taking one hat off to put another on. I'm always switching gears, playing catch up and trying to do the best job I can for what hat I happen to be wearing.

I'm tired of segmenting my life and trying to keep it all separate. These are all things that I am and things that I do, but they are all part of me and I am just one person. So I am starting this blog because I'm ready to take all of my hats off, let my hair down and just be myself... whoever that is and whatever I happen to be focusing on in that moment. Welcome to my crazy, random and very full life. Please join me as I'm learning to fly...

Some of the players in my world:

My husband, Eriek, is the most amazing man I know. He's super supportive, an encourager and the love of my life. And he's okay being silly with me sometimes!

And this is our newest addition, Arella (pronounced ah-RAY-luh). She will be joining us in person sometime around May 24th this year.

This is Charlie (on top) and Sam (on bottom), our furry babies!

We are also in the middle of adopting from China, but that is still a few years down the road. So our family is growing and changing and we couldn't be more excited to watch God knit us together!