How NOT to Prepare for an Event

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend my first blog conference, Blog Elevated. I was super excited to learn all things blog, meet new people and just have a fun little weekend.

l-r: Me, Justina, Kristen, Jessica

In preparation for this new adventure, I read a lot of great blog posts like 8 Tips to Rock Your Blog Conference and In My Conference Bag and When Your Style Goes From URL to IRL. Ya'll, I'm a seasoned traveler and a preparation nerd. I'm an over planner. I have been since my competitive diving days, and it's carried over into the few family trips we've taken.

However.

Something has started concerning me in recent weeks. I've been trying to deny it and keep it a secret. But it's gotten to a severe enough stage that I can no longer avoid discussing it. I seem to have developed a mild-to-moderate health condition.

There's this old wives tale that when you become pregnant you can develop a condition called "baby brain." I scoffed at this. I never had any issues remembering things in my first pregnancy. Then I birthed the kid. And not too long after, we went and got another one. Just a year later, we had number 3. In the months since number 3's birth, my brain function has severely depleted. In fact, I've discovered that my mental state seems to be a direct reflection of the number of times number 3 wakes up during the night. If number 1 or number 2 get up as well, I'm almost catatonic the following day.

I've mentioned my Mommy Burnout on here before, but now we're beginning to see the fallout.

The may look cute, but don't let those smiles fool you.
Sweet angels by day, evil geniuses at night.

I think some all of you parents reading this can probably relate. If you can't, well, I may not be able to talk to you for a few years out of sleep envy.

The conference was just a hop, skip and jump from our neck of the woods down to Galveston, so we decided to make a family trip out of it. I researched Moody Gardens til I had it memorized. I knew everything there was to know about our destination AND the conference. But in my sleep deprived stupor, I apparently neglected a few important details.

View from our floor at the Moody Gardens Hotel.

Every once in a great while, we will have moments of brilliance. Unfortunately they are generally followed by equally incredible moments of absurdity. We packed every single thing in the house needed to possibly take care of the kids while we were away. We managed to leave right at nap time which meant all three kids promptly fell asleep in the car. Perfect. Beautiful. Hubby and I even got to have long conversations on the drive down while sleep was happening in the back seat.

When we arrived at the hotel, I bounced happily into the lobby to check us in while my family patiently waited in the car. I gave the lady my name and waited. And waited. She asked me if it could be under a different name. I tried my maiden name. She looked concerned. I started to panic. She asked if I had a confirmation number. I started to look through my email on my phone and dread set in. I didn't remember ever getting a confirmation email. As many times as I checked out the hotel and called to ask questions, I don't remember ever going through the booking process. And there it is... we didn't have a room.

Fortunately there was a room available, though, phew...

Me with the littles in the sprinkles wandering around.

We hauled everything up to the room, wandered around a bit, ate dinner, then went back to the room so I could get ready for the welcome reception. After discovering that I had forgotten to pack some... ahem... unmentionables, we also realized that we hadn't really told or prepped the girls that I would be leaving at bedtime for an event. So my poor husband was left to put three mildly upset kids to bed, in one room, in the dark, in a strange place by himself. This became the norm for all sleep and nap times for the weekend.

But this is why I'm nominating Hubby for Daddy of the Year. Count 'em- 1, 2, 3!

All three sleeping peacefully in the hotel room.

 

Although I was up almost every hour each night we were there, I had the honor of an early breakfast date with a daughter each morning.

Friday morning with Zoe.

Saturday morning with Arella.

And I met awesome new friends each day and night.

 

l-r: Me, Becky, Maureen, Bon, Cathi

Although I wasn't all put together and may have been sporting super attractive bloodshot eyes from lack of sleep, I still received a boatload of education, had a blast and left feeling more confident and with a lot of very cool new friendships.

Thank you Blog Elevated (Bobbie and Lisa) for creating such an awesome conference that I could enjoy and learn from even in my current state of lunacy.

Hoping to check it out again in 2015 with a little more sanity in tow.

My Ice Bucket Challenge & 3 Other Fun Surprises

I was challenged by my dear friend Julie Carrier and my other sweet friend Rachel from church to do the ALS ice bucket challenge. My little girls watched other videos of people getting water poured on them and thought it was funny. I asked if they wanted to pour water on mommy, and they got really excited! Of course in the video they look a little unsure of themselves, but I think they were concentrating real hard on the task at hand.

Post by Laura Wilkinson.

Here are a couple other challenges that I thought were fun.

Charlie Sheen adds an unexpected twist, turning ice to cash.




Then George W. Bush steps up to the challenge.





And one of the best challenge fails that I've seen.

5 Videos That Will Unleash Your Inner Superhero

Today my family was so gracious to take the kiddos and dump me at a coffee shop so I could have some alone time, breathe and maybe write one of the ten blog posts I've started but haven't had a chance to finish between road trips and sick kids.

So what productive thing am I doing with this valuable time away? I got totally sucked in to watching videos. I just wanted to sit still, sip my coffee (with caffeine I might add!) and waste a little time... because I could. This girl here doesn't have cable and most hours I'm elbow deep in snot, playing pretend, putting someone down for a nap, calming down a crier, or making and cleaning up a meal.

What started as just watching my friends Facebook posts of fun videos while sipping my exquisite non-fat latte, quickly led me to looking up all kinds of amazing feats of craziness. You may have heard me mention it before, but I have a not-so-secret ambition to one day be a superhero.

My cape wearing days didn't start at the usual toddler age. I might have been a little closer to 30. I mean, I already enjoy leaping from tall buildings in a single bound, plunging to the water faster than a speeding bullet and kids have often pointed up at me in the sky and said, "It's a bird, it's a plane... it's Laura diving!" Okay, well, maybe not quite, but platform diving can give one aspirations of becoming a superhero. So as my kids have begun to don masks and capes, I get the itch to join them. After all...

As I'm watching these videos this morning, I started getting sucked into these amazing feats of strength, adrenaline and pure craziness and well... that superhero inside desperately wants me to get back in shape so I can try this stuff! Going from one to three kids in 13 months was all the working out I could handle. But now we're starting to be able to breathe again and I think these videos may provide me some motivation to get back into the swing of things.  Enjoy and unleash your inner superhero friends. Although, most of this you shouldn't try at home... unless you're these guys.

5. Because these guys are insanely strong.

Post by Mud and Adventure.

4. Kacy Catanzaro- American Ninja Warrior... indeed.



3. Damien Walters- free runner, stuntman, gymnast. This guy is amazing.




2. I started sweating watching this.



1. Because this stuff is just plain crazy

The Big Chop

Years back one of my good friends chopped her hair super short and donated it to help make wigs for kids that have experienced medical hair loss. It sounded like such a cool idea and a super easy way to help someone. So I decided I would wait to cut my hair until it was long enough to donate, too.

This is the third time I've donated, and I seem to have formed this habit of just cutting my hair once every couple of years now. It's a fun little adventure for me personally, and Arella informed me that I'm like Rapunzel now. So I guess I've been upgraded from Olaf (who she decided I was not too long ago) to a princess for my efforts and sacrifice. Score!

I have donated to Locks of Love twice and Pantene Beautiful Lengths once. If you're interested in joining the fun, here are some organizations that you can donate to (just remember to read the guidelines because they all vary in what they will accept):

Locks of Love

Pantene Beautiful Lengths

Wigs for Kids

Wigs 4 Kids

Children with Hair Loss


So without further ado, I will present to you my before and afters from all three Big Chops!

June 2014

 Preston at OnStage starting the Big Chop!

 Back before. (Don't mind the ponytail line around the top of my head!)

 Back after.

Here's the new do for me and the donation!

October 2011

Before.

 

After.

 September 2004

Making the very first Big Chop!

 Back before.

 Back after.

 Front before.

Front after with braid donation!

The 5 Stages

Adoption is a crazy ride. After some great conversation at an orphan care meeting the other night, I realize that there are 5 stages to adoption, much like grief but generally with a happier ending. As I was brainstorming this, I actually came up with a couple different ways of looking at it.


The 5 Stages of the Adoption Process

1. Denial — All an adoptive parent sees when starting the process is a child at the end of a long dark tunnel. That child is a bright light, diverting all of our attention, so we can't see anything else in the tunnel. The reality of the journey that lies ahead can be daunting and overwhelming, so the parent chooses only to keep their eyes on the end goal so they don't see the tunnel at all.
2. Anger — As you begin to divulge every little nuance and detail of your private life to complete strangers who write it all down to share it with agencies and government officials under the code name "home study," the anger and frustration can start to kick in. This is where the hiccups, delays, issues and extras fees begin to emerge. You start to discover everything wrong with the process.
3. Bargaining — As you get deeper into the process, you start to realize just how very long and dark the tunnel is. (The average international adoption takes 3 years and nearly $30k.) New policies are always being enacted, laws changed, new requirements added and extra fees heaped onto the case load. This is when the parent may go rouge and attempt to become Jason Bourne in search of the origin of any and all issues and how to annihilate them.
4. Depression — The wait. The excruciating, gut-wrenching, fear inducing, mind-numbing, tear-jerking wait for your child. There are many tears in this stage. All-encompassing worry sets in. You worry about your child, and you worry about the process. And you worry you're going to lose your child in the process.
5. Acceptance — Then the day finally arrives and you become a family. Forever.

As you go through the process of adopting a child, you learn a ton, you think about things you may have never thought about before and your entire perspective changes. Honestly I think these are the stages that God takes us through as He begins to break our hearts for what breaks His.


The 5 Stages of Your Heart Through Adoption

1. Denial — When you decide to adopt, it's generally either because you selfishly want a child or you self-righteously want to save a child. Either way, you go into an adoption thinking it's just about adding a child to your family.
2. Anger — As you get knee deep into the adoption waters, you learn about why these kids need families. You learn the horror stories of how they became orphans. You realize that the world is a VERY fallen place full of VERY fallen people. The travesties make you cry so hard you might scream. You become so angry you can't think straight, and you don't understand why everyone around you isn't bursting at the seems to talk about these issues that make your blood boil.
3. Bargaining — You're ready to hop on the next plane and change the world... if you only knew what to do. You constantly ask God why He would let this happen and beg Him to change it.
4. Depression —  You are overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation and feel helpless to change anything.
5. Acceptance — Then one day it all hits you. What you are doing by adopting a child into your family is a picture of what God has done for us. You realize that adoption isn't just adding a kid to your family. Adoption is how God adds us to His family. And that is exactly what you want to tell the world because being part of God's family is truly forever.
   
   

"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son... so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." - Galatians 4:4-7

Mission: Impossible Baby

When we became parents, Eriek and I had no idea we would suddenly have the alter egos of Impossible Missions Force (IMF) Agents. However our missions are not against evil organizations and crime lords. We are up against the toughest of the tough:

The Baby

At first I thought we were crazy people. The things we would do because of this tiny little human in our home were absurd, ridiculous, and borderline insane. But as we embarrassingly admitted a few stories to our friends, we realized that, in fact, upon the very instant you become a parent, you also don this wacky IMF persona.

All of our missions vary depending on the targeted drop zone and the Baby's modus operandi that hour. Here are 10 covert ops and challenges an Agent faces:

1. Agent holds, walks, bounces, and/or swings Baby until Baby falls asleep. This can last anywhere from 5 to 60 minutes.
   
2. If Agent attempts to sit with sleeping Baby, as soon as Agent's rear touches chair, Baby's eyes may pop wide open, often combined with an isolated shout of disapproval. Then the first step may be repeated.
   
3. When Baby falls asleep in cradle hold, only an experienced Agent can lay Baby in crib and successfully remove his arm from underneath Baby without Baby waking up.
   
4. The Pacifier is one of the Agent's most useful field tools, but also one of the trickiest. The Pacifier has been known to knock out Baby in a matter of seconds. But if Pacifier falls out (sometimes repeatedly), it can completely compromise the Mission.
   
5. If Baby is in crib, Agent may lay a hand on Baby's chest until Baby appears asleep. Over the course of 10 excruciatingly long minutes, Agent ever so slowly peels hand off. Occasionally Baby thwarts this tactic with an isolated arm swing and ninja like grip on Agent's hand before it can be extracted.
   
6. Agent will close eyes, hoping Baby will mimic the stealth action. As Agent peeks ever-so-slightly with one eye, Baby is often found beaming a huge grin directly at Agent. This can result in Agent being sideline for the rest of the Mission.
   
7. If Baby falls asleep in crib, the manner in which Agent attempts to leave the room will vary based on the crouched hiding position Agent finds himself in. Usually there is tiptoeing, crawling, scooting, slithering, taking one step every 3 minutes or a combination of these techniques in order to remain undetected.
   
8. Agent will successfully get Baby to sleep, only to hear the dreaded noise of a serious blowout as Agent has reached the door. Baby will sleep through blowout but inevitably wake up during the diaper change. Mission will be scrapped and attempted again.
   
9. It is not unusual for Agent to make it safely undetected to the door only to be caught once the first foot has entered the hallway.
   
10. Agents are often wounded in action. Common injuries are numb arm from hanging over crib rail, back pain from awkward half-bent-side-stance next to crib, a crick in the neck from looking down at Baby in arms, twisted knee from swaying Baby side-to-side, bicep strain from holding Baby for long periods over shoulder, throat soreness from shushing and singing to Baby and general achy muscles from standing completely still in strange positions to avoid detection.

In case you've yet to experience Mission: Impossible Baby, here is a little taste of an IMF dad on a very difficult Mission.

Here I am, Send Me

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.”" Isaiah 6:8

I started praying that verse a lot in 2009.  Freshly retired from diving but not able to be a mom like my heart desired, I was lost. 

If you've never seen what I did for so many years,
here's a little snippet someone took at the 2008 Olympics Trials.

You may not realize it, but this crazy diver chick that likes to throw her body off of 3 story buildings in a single bound, twist, flip and go in the water with nary a splash, craves a little action and adventure.  So when my 3 story building was taken away and there was nothing to replace it, well, I didn't just feel lost, I was empty, confused, scared, aching, stir crazy... you get the idea.

I kept praying for God to send me because I didn't want to sit and be still and wait.  But I learned that I have to say "yes" before He tells me where to go and what it's going to look like.  Because if He lets me know where He's sending me, generally I'm going to argue, disagree or high tail it the other direction.  Hmmm, that actually reminds me of Jonah and Moses.  Guess we all have something in common.

As I have been learning to say "yes," (although I'm sometimes secretly hoping He'll send me a certain direction) I have discovered that the hardest yesses are usually the simplest ones.  Waiting for over 3 years to meet Zoe was my first one.  In case you've never had to knowingly wait that long for something, let me tell you- It. Is. Torture. But she was definitely worth the wait!

This weekend is Easter, and like many of you, I'm sure, my family and I had Easter plans.  Our church will be starting two services on Sunday, which made me excited for an early service that would give us time to have a family lunch and fun activities for the kids before nap time.  But suddenly we were down a staggering number of volunteers to help with the kids in the later service.  Shortly after my shock and dismay that no one was volunteering, I read a blog post that quickly convicted and humbled me. 

Easter is not for me or about me.  It's not about my well-intentioned, Jesus-focused kid activities.  It's not about spending time with family.  Easter is an opportunity to introduce people to Jesus by being like Him and telling people about Him.

"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45

"How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”" Romans 10:14-15

Sometimes God asks us to say "yes" to simple things like serving children for an hour and a half in place of our own plans. It sounds small and trivial on so many levels, but many of the families (kids and adults alike) that are coming this Sunday will have the opportunity to learn about Jesus and maybe start a relationship with Him for the first time.  Sometimes the little things are the big things in disguise.

So, yes, my husband and I will be serving in the late service.  And we hope to serve you there.

churchproject.org

'Tis the Season

Sunday morning I woke up busting at the seams with joy.  I kept looking at my family all silly and happy getting ready for church and just couldn't wipe the grin off my face.  I whispered a heartfelt thank you to God, and all just felt right in my little world.

Then lunch happened.

 Meet trouble and her sidekick.

After church we went to eat with our house church (our small group that meets for Bible study on Wednesday nights).  I missed the first half of lunch while I was nursing the baby in the car and came in to find out that while Eriek was ordering food the girls nearly tore the place down in their hungry toddler frenzy.  While I was eating with one hand, Zadok spit up on my other arm. One of my friends held him while I cleaned myself up and finished eating, but he wouldn't settle down.  So, I took him back and was bouncing him around, while the girls were running amok, and Eriek was off getting cookies.  I passed off the baby to another friend so I could take Arella to the bathroom and came back to find out that Zadok had a BLOW OUT on this poor girl who has now just had her first real baby experience.  Off I went back to the bathroom to clean up my messy little man and give him a quick wardrobe change.  By the time I walked back to our table, EVERYONE had left.

I felt so defeated.  I felt so stressed out.  I felt so frustrated that I couldn't even enjoy a lunch with our friends.  I felt like giving up and never leaving my house again.

Then I remembered something that humbled me and reminded me that this is my season.  A new friend of mine wrote this blog post that I needed to hear but didn't want to accept.  I've always been a tough, do-it-myselfer, overachiever type.  Surprising, right?  But when I read the beginning of that post, it could've easily been me in that young mom's place, wishing for more than the diaper trenches of life.

However, this is my season in life right now.  Don't get me wrong, it's an exciting, joyous, captivating, fulfilling and completely awesome season!  But at times it's also exhausting, defeating, stressful, dirty and did I mention exhausting?

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1

The grass is always greener though, right?  We so often long for the next season of life or the next big thing that we usually forget to just be present and intentional in this moment.  We forget to find contentment wherever we are. 

"...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

While we run the race of life, it's easy to get caught up in the competition and begin to sprint.  But life is a marathon, and we have to wisely pace and nourish ourselves to finish strong.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34

I do absolutely love this season of my life.  But when I'm sinking in the day's quicksand, it is nice to be thrown a log reminding me that it is, after all, only a season.

This charmer helps to melt away any rough days.

The Juggling Act

I've seriously been trying to write this post for a month.  The fact of the matter is I haven't been able to write it because I've been learning to live it.

We are now a family of five, with three kids under three years old.  It's been two months, and we're starting to find our groove.  However, our groove is a fairly normal day, doing normal things but leaving pretty much no time for any extras... yet.

  

To finish this post, I left my husband to fend for himself putting all three kids down for bed as I escaped to the nearest coffee shop with his laptop.  He said the girls are in bed (but it wasn't smooth), and he and the boy are male bonding.  I'm not going to lie, I'm sort of smirking to myself, finally feeling like I know how to do something he doesn't yet.  But I'm pretty sure on his second try he will do better than my best effort because ya'll, he's seriously awesome at this Daddy business. (As I'm writing this he informed me that he got Zadok to fall asleep on his own, without being held.  See, what did I tell you? Captain Awesome.)

One word to best describe what our life has been like with three littles is juggling.  On my own during the day with two, I'm already out numbered but at least I have an arm to hold each of them. With three, well...

You get the idea.  So, while we were driving to Austin last month I looked up juggling to see just how appropriate the idea is for my life.  When I stumbled onto the wikiHow page for juggling, I was laughing so hard, I may have cried a little.

Allow me to teach you how to juggle your kids in seven easy steps.

We must start by understanding that "juggling is a challenging but rewarding hobby." Apparently it may be difficult to master at first, but it gets easier with practice after you've learned the basics.  Yup, so far it sounds exactly like parenting, except for that "hobby" part.  I think it's more of a hobby for grandparents as they can give the kids back when they're done playing.

1.)  The first step in learning how to juggle is to find balls that will not bounce a lot or roll away when they're dropped because it will save you a fair bit of running initially.  Are you giggling already? Newborns are an easy medium to start with as they stay put for you.  When we brought Zoe home as a walking toddler, there was certainly a lot of running!  Apparently adding a toddler to the family is for students ready to put in some extra leg work, literally.  It also mentions finding a good place to work in because in the beginning the balls will end up flying everywhere and you don't want to be near breakables.  This is where we introduce baby proofing to the house because balls and kids will most certainly be flying and falling... everywhere.

2.)  For the second step, you begin tossing one ball for a while "to get the feel of juggling." Toss that one ball from one hand to the other then progress by catching with the throwing hand. In other words, get used to having one kid for a while before you add any more.  For all of you with multiples, well, God must see you as talented so you can completely bypass this step.

3.)  In step three you practice a technique to make juggling smooth.  You have to scoop, or dip, your hand before tossing the ball.  And keep it shallow because it won't work if you scoop too deeply.  This step is when you are beginning to think about adding a second child to your family.  Before you commit, try babysitting a friend's kid along with your own.  See how the get along.  Or don't.

4.)  For the fourth step, you have two balls, one in each hand.  You may be outnumbered but you have a hand for each.  Toss the first one in the air and when it reaches the top of its arc, toss the second one. The instructions say to "practice this simple exchange" until it becomes comfortable.  It also mentions that at the top is key and gives you the most time for your next catch.  Which is apparently very important when you start working with 3, 4, and 5.  Um, slow down wikiHow, we're not ready to think about 3, 4, and 5.  We're still trying to figure out how to not drop the two that are wiggling out of control and refuse to be tossed in the air.

5.)  Step five is the step of commitment.  Those who have three kids must juggle.  It is no longer an option as you are out of hands.  The instructions tell us to "start out slowly, simply seeing how the three work together in the air in one rotation.  Juggling three is often a matter of understanding the balls' trajectories and how they intertwine.  For the majority of the time, one will be in the air while each hand has the other two."  This is where I am.  We have three.  We are committed.  There's no looking back.  I'm trying really hard not to drop anyone.  Occasionally it happens, and there are tears.  But we're starting to get the hang of everyone's trajectories and how they intertwine.  It's all about logistics and planning at this stage of the game.

6.)  We may be ready for the sixth step soon.  It's learning different methods and techniques for juggling three balls.  I guess when we start to feel comfortable, we'll try shaking things up and see how we do. Perhaps my first attempt at a new method will involve a public outing on my own with all three.  We've attempted a few very short outings but we're not quite ready for this as I nearly lost two girls in the swim suit racks at Target last week.

7.)  The seventh and final step is moving onto four and five balls.  WikiHow says for some, juggling four is simpler than three!  Hmmm... parents of four, do you agree with that? Maybe once you have three, you adopt the attitude "What's one more?"  I guess we have since our paperwork is done for our Ethiopia adoption, but we still have a couple years to master this three child business first.  It also mentions that juggling five balls is just like juggling three, but you have to move your hands a lot faster and you need to throw the balls higher. Of course.

But I think it wraps up juggling and parenting perfectly:

Keep practicing- it takes time and patience to master.

Amen wikiHow. Amen.

Perhaps if we follow these seven simple steps, we'll one day master the great parent juggling act. Maybe one day our parenting skills will match this crazy juggling awesomeness.

The Momlympics

I've always loved the Olympics, even long before I ever became an Olympian.  I have never seen a Winter Olympics in person, and I was really hoping that Sochi would be my first one.  But alas, this precious little boy decided he wanted to be here in time to watch the Games, so we're doing that as a family in front of the tv at home.

Zadok on his birthday.

Happy little guy.

Growing so fast!

As I've been watching some of the Olympics, I find myself captivated by certain stories.  They always pull you in with those inspiring and heartbreaking personal stories and of course those P&G Thank You Mom commercials that have this mom crying like my baby every time they come on.  For the record, I'm blaming it on hormones. This is one of my favorite ones because I have a mom like this who woke me up at 4am to get to practice, supported me through every up and down, and was there to cheer me on at every meet no matter how I finished.  And now I'm a mom, hoping I can be to my children even just a fraction of the mom mine has been (and still is) for me.

Watching the Olympics also stirs up a little something else in me.  I can't help but get the itch to train and compete again.  I guess that's normal when you've dreamed about and worked toward something for most of your life; it leaves a mark.  But as I look at my new little team, my three kids under three years old, I realize that they already have me training for my very own Momlympics.

Each morning I fall crawl out of bed before the sun is up.  I don't even have to set an alarm.  It must be a scientific fact that if you have three children, one will always wake up before the sunrise.  And that one early riser will likely wake up a sibling, maybe two.  Usually I hit the ground running because the wake up is followed by crying.  A good jog up a flight of stairs and down a hall before coffee, heck, before peeing is how a hard core momlympian begins a day of training.

Once all the kids are up but before breakfast, they already have me doing laps around the house.  Sometimes I march in formation with the kids.  Sometimes it's an all out race.  Other times I'm just frantically gathering clothes, diapers, hair brushes and other essentials so we can get ready for the day.  All in all, a good round of cardio to get the heart pumping.

Then we sit down for a nutritious breakfast and I finally get my coffee (decaf though, I am in training after all).  After breakfast my workout generally consists of some type of wrestling and weightlifting mixture.  Wrangling two 2-year-olds into clothes when they would rather be naked or stay in pjs should be an Olympic medal event.  Then to top it off with brushing and putting up tangled hair on sensitive heads, well, I'm usually ready for a break from my training after this workout.  But to keep me pushing through, my 3-week-old is generally ready to eat, fussy from eating or needing his eighth diaper change of the morning by this point in time. 

If we have an outing for the day, this is the window of opportunity.  I twirl and swoosh around the kitchen in my socks like Michelle Kwan on ice gathering snacks and filling up water cups.  I take off down the hallways like Usain Bolt to gather diapers, wipes and changes of clothes.  Then I slam dunk it all with a flying leap like Michael Jordan into the diaper bag.  I herd my littles to the mom-mobile in record time and convince them it's a great idea to get into their car seats. Snap, snap, clip, clip, slam the door and we're off like the Jamaican bobsled team!

Generally a public outing is a bit like low-key competition.  We're on display for all the world to see and judge us like armchair quarterbacks.  I have to be on my game, drumming up coherent words to speak to other adults while keeping my kids teammates in check throughout the course of the outing.  Once we cross the finish line and are heading back home, we can relax a little bit and maybe go over how our competition went.  Sometimes there are tears after a rough event.  Sometimes there are victory songs.  Sometimes my teammates just pass out from sheer exhaustion.

Nap time at our house can sometimes be the most difficult part of my training.  There are so many variables in this equation that every single day is completely different.  I have to dance on my toes ever so delicately to ensure that all three kids not only go to bed but sleep as well.  One misstep and our rhythm is gone, sometimes for the rest of the day.  This stage of training requires nerves of steel, patience nearly beyond my understanding, and flexibility to handle the unexpected mid-nap potty break or poop blowout.

Like many sports, the Momlympics is all about planning and preparation for the big goal.  And logistics is possibly the most important tool a mom can incorporate into her daily training.  An elite mom must learn not only how to multitask but how to juggle while multitasking.  Multitasking is doing several activities at the same time like talking on the phone, watching tv and listening to your children.  But juggling is a physical skill involving the manipulation of many objects at the same time, using one or many hands (and possibly feet).  So this might look more like holding a crying baby in one arm while bouncing him, holding a book in your other hand while reading it to a second child and fishing a toy out from under the couch with your foot for a third child... all at the same time.

Overall, the Momlympics consists of frequent low-key tune-up events and every so often a large scale, nerve wracking event like traveling.  Like the Olympics, there are tears of joy and defeat.  Sometimes you feel like a gold medal mom and the world should take notice.  Other times, you feel like you've run off course and can't even finish the race.  I think, however, it's most important to note that the Momlympics never ends and the rewards are far greater and longer lasting than gold.

Answering the Right Question

In my last post I talked about the confusion that holidays bring.  They teach our kids pretty much the opposite of the example Jesus lived and taught us.  Kids are overwhelmed with messages in our culture on a daily, hourly, and now smart-phone-instantanious basis.  Parents, here's a wake up call: 1-2 hours a week sitting in a church gathering of some sort will not break through all that other noise.

So this brings me back to the question that we really need to answer:  How do I show my children who Jesus is?

•  It starts with us, parents.  How can we expect to show our children who Jesus is if we know nothing about Him, never speak with Him and never listen to what He has to say?  Start by digging into the Bible and talking to God about what you're reading. And if your kids happen to see you doing this, awesome!  They learn by example, so be mindful of what you're showing them.
  
  
•  We need to talk with our kids about Jesus.  I know this sounds simple and trite, but so many people just expect that a little time in church will cover all the basics, and they're scared of not having an answer for their kids' question.  Well, if your kids don't ask you questions and you're not starting a dialogue with them, I can guarantee you they are asking someone else or hearing answers elsewhere.  Don't be afraid to tell your child, "I don't know the answer to that, so let's find out together."  Even if they don't show it, they will appreciate your honesty and probably feel special when you go to any length to help them find the answer.
  
  
  
  
  
  
• It's Christmas time, so even more so than the rest of the year kids and adults alike are inundated with advertisements for what they need.  We ask our families to make wish lists that only confirm we must really need this stuff.  Watch out, I'm proposing two radical ideas...  Turn off the tv and do not make wish lists.  If you want to watch something, try popping in a DVD or turn on Netflix and enjoy the show without the onslaught of ads.  Instead of having your family make lists of things they want, have them make a list of things you could surprise other friends or family members with, or even a local family in true need of the basics.  Keep the focus off of themselves and onto others.
  
  
•  This Christmas, don't let Jesus stay a baby in a manger.  I think a lot of times that's all kids (and adults) see Him as, a baby.  Ask your kids why they think the magi would come from so far to bring gifts and worship a baby.  At the level they can understand, discuss what Jesus did, how He is God, He is Messiah and He is King.
  
  
• Cut down on your family gifts. I know it's fun to give and receive, and we should celebrate with some of that, but set some limits.  One that we like and implement is "something they want, something they need, something they wear and something they read."  That includes our stockings stuffers.
  
  
• Allow your children to choose a family gift.  There are a lot of ways to do this and you can make it look however you want, but if your kids are old enough, let them take the lead.  Have them do research and come up with something they can do for someone else, whether it's an organization, a local family, a ministry, whatever their little hearts are drawn to.  If it's something they want to donate to, then let them figure out how to earn some money and help them take/send that money.  If it's buying gifts for a local family in need, it's always nice if the kids can actually pick out, wrap and give the presents to the family.  Don't write off doing this with your kids if they're still young.  Mine are both 2 but helped me pick out clothes and toys to send to Zoe's orphanage in China.  We even had a full discussion about where the box was going and who was getting the present.  They were very excited to help me pack the box, after they made sure the toys were good, of course.
  
  
  
  Zoe packing the box.
  
  
  
  
  
• Make an advent calendar but get creative.  Do not do candy and presents.  Make each day different.  Maybe some have scripture you can talk about and have the kids draw a picture about the scripture.  Maybe other days have simple ways to give back around your community.  Perhaps even others say things like "Tell someone about Jesus today" or "Pray for a friend that is having a hard time."  Each day can be a way to learn more about Jesus and how to live like Him.
  
  
• Invite someone over for Christmas.  We have always had an open door policy in our family.  Our friends know they are always welcome, so some years friends just show up unannounced, and sometimes we invite friends that we know don't have anyone to celebrate with.   Either way, we can always make room for more!
  
  
• Keep things simple.  From decorations to presents to food.  This is the most stressful time of year for most people, but it should be a time of celebration, joy, and love for Jesus.

Keep your eyes on Jesus and He will keep you from sinking.  Fill your heart with love for Jesus and there won't be room for all the overwhelming things this world offers.

Asking the Wrong Question

Becoming Mommy forces you to think about issues you haven't been confronted with since your own childhood but with the stakes raised to a whole new parental level.  You are now fully responsible for every aspect of raising another little human.  Suddenly you are faced with difficult questions that everyone else on the planet seems to have a very opinionated answer for.  It's hard to have open discussions with people because they just jump on their soapbox and rant and rave.  So how is a Mommy to navigate these turbulent waters, figure out how to parent, and come out the other side with more than just a barely functioning child?

I'm learning that there are many times where I just have to be like Peter- disregard everything else, plant my eyes firmly on Jesus, jump out of the boat with both feet and start walking, trusting Jesus to grab hold of me when I get distracted and begin to sink (Matthew 14:22-33).

You know you this is how you pictured it in your head.

Well, one turbulent parenting topic that's been weighing heavily on me for a long time is the holidays and the overwhelming monstrosities they have become.  My kiddos are still very young (2 and 2.5), but I've been thinking about this since they were just little hopes in my heart.  And I've had plenty of time to think about it since I became a parent later than most of my friends.  So I've been an avid watcher of everyone's experiences.

My biggest issue with pretty much every holiday is they now promote buying a ridiculous amount of stuff, blowing budgets, caving into what everyone else is doing, stress, self indulgence, guilt and feeling empty when it's over.  How is that good for us OR our kids?

It's not.

Since we're closing in on Christmas, one of the biggies, let's go there.  My first big dilemma, was Santa or no Santa?  I've heard all the debates, rationalizations and arguments on both sides.  When deciding what we should do in our house, that topic and discussion led to many, MANY more discussions, no longer just about Santa but about all the other issues that surround Christmas as well.

Last year right after Christmas, a friend of mind posted a simple question on Facebook.  She said something to the effect of "How do you talk to a child about Christmas without them only talking about the presents they received?"  I immediately thought of several Jesus specific questions to ask or things to do with our kids leading up to Christmas that might help.  People, I was TORN APART in the comments that followed.  It made me angry at first, but that anger quickly turned to sadness as I was so disheartened to hear these moms' responses.  At first I thought, maybe I really don't know anything because my kids are still so young.  But after dwelling on the topic, praying about it and dwelling some more, I realized that these poor parents missed some great opportunities to teach and grow their kids and themselves.

How do children learn the best?  How do adults learn the best?  By doing.  And by doing repeatedly.  If I want my kids to learn about Jesus Christ at Christmas time (or any and every time of the year), how should I go about doing that?  I need to show them.  I lead them by example.  Then I should invite them to join me and teach them to do the same.

If we are to be an example of Christ to our children, then we should obviously look to His example.  What kind of example did He set for us?  One of love (John 15:12-13), humility (Phil. 2:6-8), serving (John 13:5), sacrifice (John 19:30), teaching (John 13:12-15), obedience (Matt. 26:39), and prayer (Luke 22:45-46) to name just a few.  Pretty much the complete opposite of all those things I mentioned that the holidays are teaching us.

So I realize now that I had been asking myself the wrong question all this time- to have Santa or not to have Santa?  The right question is: How do I show my children who Jesus is?

Why is it so important to answer this question?  There are many reasons, but for a parent, here's a biggie:

"Most statistics say that 80-90% of students who grew up in church are leaving the church within two years after they graduate high school."

Friends, showing up on Sunday and sitting through a sermon or Sunday school class is not going to show our kids who Jesus is and why He is so important.  It is something they need to SEE and DO up close and personal, in a very real and tangible way on a regular basis in order to learn.  We can't be scared or shy away from having or initiating a discussion about Jesus.  Otherwise, Jesus is just a story in book, a baby in a manger and something to talk about in a particular building once a week.  After all, they are doing sports, music, school, etc. on a daily basis, discussing those activities ALL. THE. TIME.

I'm working on another post to help answer the question: How do I show my children who Jesus is?  In the process, I hope it helps us focus on Jesus this Christmas, begins to open our kids' eyes to all that Jesus is, and that it also grows and strengthens us as parents and followers of Christ.

Come on parents, let's set the example.

Falling Into Perspective

If your pumpkin pie is liquid, your turkey is still frozen in the middle and your family is arguing, you can still be thankful on Thanksgiving.

Everyone is busy today starting to cook up their Martha Stewart masterpieces or running to the store one last time so not a roll will be out of place on that perfect spread of a feast tomorrow. 

At 31 weeks pregnant, I just fell flat on my back on the stairs and my two girls went down with me. We are all okay, including baby, and for that I am so thankful. 

This was not a fun accident but I am thankful for it because it does help put tomorrow into perspective. I could care less if all we eat is corn out of a can tomorrow, I'm so thankful for this amazing family to eat it with that God gave me. 

"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need." -Philippians 4:12

Tomorrow is not just a day to be thankful for food, family and things or another chance to go buy stuff for the next big holiday. It's a day to rest, to reflect, to dwell with thanksgiving for all that God has given, namely His son. 

"For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -Romans 5:7-8

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends." John 15:12-13

Thank You Lord for the reminder of how we should love and what we should be thankful for.

This is my little nurse who refused to leave my side after the fall.

Walking on Water

While preparing for a talk I'm giving on Thursday morning, I went through an old journal entry I wrote a little over 3 years ago.  It's exactly what I needed to read tonight.  I hope it hits home for you, too.  

I went to Matthew 14:22-33 because I wanted to read about Jesus walking on the water but also when Peter walked out to Jesus on the water. This scripture struck me a few months ago, too. When I was dwelling on it then what really stood out to me was Peter’s walk out to Jesus. Peter, full of faith, climbs right out of the boat and walks on the water toward Jesus. But midway there, Peter gets distracted by the strong winds and fear gets the best of him. He begins to sink. He cries out for Jesus to save him, and Jesus reaches out His hand catching Peter and says, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

If you think about it, it took an incredible amount of faith for Peter to walk out to Jesus in the first place. It’s somewhere between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m., pitch black, the wind is raging and everyone on the boat thinks they see a ghost before Jesus tells them that it’s Him. But Peter in his beautiful child-like faith wants to just jump right out of the boat and go meet Jesus on the water. And he begins to! But at some point he takes his eyes off Jesus because he’s distracted. The moment his focus shifts off Jesus, Peter begins to sink. Wow, I bet we’ve all been there. Can you think of a time in your life when you felt like everything was lining up perfectly because you were running after Jesus, eyes firmly planted on Him, then in a moment everything changed? How is it we get so easily distracted? The great news is though, that Jesus is still there, ready to reach out and save us when we begin to sink. I know I have the crying-out-to-Jesus-to-be-saved part down, but it’s the not sinking/get distracted part I need to work on.

When I read this passage again tonight though, another part of the story really stirred my mind. The disciples think they see a ghost and they cry out; then Jesus calmed them down letting them know it was Him. What happens next I can’t get over. In verse 28, Peter says this to Jesus, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” Peter is always so zealous, so trusting and loving like a child.  It struck me as a little odd that Peter didn’t just ask permission, but he asked Jesus to command him. And with the fear they used to have of the sea back then, especially in the middle of the night, why in the world did Peter want to go out to Jesus on the water?! I’m surprised he wasn’t like, “Oh good, it’s You Jesus, now come in the boat and hang out with us.” Peter didn’t just want to go out on the water with Jesus; he wanted Jesus to command him to do it. I really find this fascinating.

Sometimes I think I’m similar to Peter and his attitude.  My excited reaction might also have been to want to go meet Jesus on the water, but I probably would have just run right out there without asking. Why did Peter ask? Maybe because he knew that no matter how much mustard seed faith Peter had, if Jesus didn’t want him out there, he would never have made it. This hits me to the core. I’m a very goal oriented person and when I know my objective, I just set out to make it happen. Every once in a while I stop to ask if God wants to join me, but I forget that I’m not in the driver’s seat.  He is. I can know exactly where to go and how to get there, but there’s no gas pedal or brake on the passenger side. I can have all the faith in the world that my plan will work and God will like it, but if God decides not to go that direction, we’re not going that direction.

I think I can learn a lot from Peter here. I want to be excited to meet Jesus wherever He is, even if it looks like a scary path, Jesus is there so I want to be there, too. I need to keep my eyes and heart focused on Jesus no matter how crazy and frightening the world around me may look and feel. And whatever bright ideas or goals I come up with, I need to first seek out what God wants me doing and where He’s driving me. Because on my own, I’m going nowhere fast.

Father God,

Thank You for showing me why I begin to sink in life sometimes. Forgive me for taking my eyes off of You sometimes. Please help my focus be more constantly directed on You, Lord, and what You want me doing. I know sometimes I kick and scream in the passenger seat like a spoiled child. Help me to be more patient and to listen to You when You’re telling me where You want to take me. I’m ready for our road trip Lord!

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Twins?

Several kids have asked me if Arella and Zoe are twins.  Not just sisters, twins.

At first I just thought this was just a funny little kid thing.  But it's happened more often than you would guess, and as it happened again tonight, it's just stuck in the forefront of my brain.

We were out and about getting blood tests and other fun medical exam stuff done for our next adoption and Daddy was going to be working late through dinner.  So like any brilliant mom, I set my mom-mobile on autopilot for Chick-fil-A.  We got there early so it was actually relaxing.  Had a nice little meal with my girls and then giggled on over to the play area to get some energy out before driving home.

There was just a 5 year old boy and 7 year old girl already in there.  After studying my girls for a few minutes, our conversation went something like this:

Girl: Are they sisters?
Me: Yes.
Girl:  How old are they?
Me: (pointing) Arella is 2 and Zoe is almost 2.

 She ran off and played but kept watching them.  A few minutes later she wandered over again:

Girl:  Are they twins?
Me: No, but they are sisters.
Girl:  But they're wearing the same shirts.

There it is.  Nearly every time the girls wear the same shirts, kids ask if they are twins.  It's funny to me that kids seem to have the idea of sameness or likeness in regards to what a twin is but a similarity in their outfits is the most compelling argument that they might be twins.

I just love that kids, even older kids, just see two little girls wearing the same shirts.  I love that it doesn't compute that those girls are completely different sizes and have completely different appearances.  They just see two girls playing together wearing the same clothes. 

I think it's important for us to celebrate our uniqueness and different cultures and histories, and I think looking at each other through the eyes of a child is how we do just that.  We need to take off our predetermined judgements and assumptions and truly see the beautiful person sitting next to us for the first time.

In the last week or so, Arella and Zoe have started discovering their differences and I stand in awe of the sweetness of it.  Arella has discovered Zoe's "little ear" for the first time and Zoe has discovered Arella's curly hair.  It's like they have found MORE things to love about each other instead of less.

Lord, I pray that you would help me discover more things to love about those around me instead of reasons to keep my distance.

Freedom

It didn't look like much from the outside.  Daddy had a day off work.  We ate at our favorite bagel place for breakfast.  We watched the parade and waved flags.  The kids took a nap.  We all swam at a friend's pool.  Typical summer holiday, right?  Except for the tears I shed as it all hit me getting out of the pool.

Today is America's Independence Day.  A day we celebrate the freedom we fought for, and still fight to maintain.  A freedom whose cost was and is not free.  It came with a heavy price tag, paid in blood.  And it was paid by those willing to lay down their lives knowing they would never enjoy the precious freedom they gave up everything for.  And for this, I am ever grateful.

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."

-John 15:13

It's maybe a way for us to catch a small glimpse of understanding of what Jesus has done for us.  But He wasn't a regular Joe trying to make the world a better place.  He is God.  And He stepped down from the very throne of heaven to lay His life down in our place, to pay our debt (Romans 3:23 & 6:23)  Why?  To give us freedom.  He shed His blood for you and me so we could be set free from the bondage of sin.  The King Himself set us free.  And He didn't just set us free to enjoy BBQ's, baseball, parades and fireworks, although all of those things are totally awesome!  He set us free to become part of His family.  And not just by adopting us, but by fully grafting us in.

"The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ" -Romans 8:16-17

Today Zoe is an American citizen who celebrated her first Independence Day.  Although she had a tragic beginning to her little life, God has written a new beginning for her.  There will always be pain, loss and a gaping hole in her life of "what should have been."  But we are beyond blessed that God knitted our family into her "what is."

Our all American cutie!

 The girls LOVED the Geico Gecko best... patriotic I know.

Zoe waved her flags the entire parade.  What a patriotic American!