How Appropriate

Today is my birthday (insert age jokes here).  It's also National Adoption Day.  How perfectly appropriate since we go to adopt our little Zoe in less than two weeks! 

It's been quite the whirlwind this week.  We got travel dates and consulate appointments confirmed, flights booked, and all of our itinerary mapped out.  We also got the motherload of bills that are due Monday- ouch!

It's such an exciting time, but it's a little scary and intimidating, too.  I've been reading a ton of adoption blogs to try and wrap my brain around how things might look.  There's no real way of knowing, but I figure if I read enough situations, I might know how to handle whatever ours ends up looking like.

I started telling Hubby about one unexpected tough situation I read about, and he immediately put his hand up and said he didn't want to hear any more.  I had to remind him that sometimes the reports and pictures people receive of their child are not accurate, and we have to remember that that is a real possibility we should be prepared for. 

One family went over having been told their child was very healthy with the exception of microtia in one ear (small ear, sometimes lacking an ear canal).  They were told she played with toys and especially loved musical toys.  When they picked her up, she was very floppy, could not use her hands to grab anything and was completely deaf in both ears.  However, once she got home with them, she caught up developmentally very quickly and is now thriving, and she is doing great with the use of hearing aids.

On the other end of the spectrum, a family went over expecting the same thing- a healthy little girl with the exception of microtia in one ear.  After 6 minutes of crying, the girl fell in love with the parents, is actually capable of hearing out of her microtia ear, and has no developmental delays. 

Our prayers for a long time have been for the health and safety of Zoe and for loving nannies to watch over and care for her.  We have also been praying for her heart to be prepared for her forever family and our hearts to be prepared for her. 

I am so excited to see her in person, to touch and kiss her sweet cheeks, look into her eyes, and hold her close.  I am nervous and somewhat expectant that she will cry for the first several days.  I have to remind myself that this is a terrifying and overwhelming process for a baby (or anyone of any age)- to be taken out of the only place you have ever seen or known, riding in cars for the first time, seeing new places and new people then being thrust into the arms and permanent care of complete strangers who just happen to look completely different from anyone you've ever seen.  This is the second time she will have been given away.  Even little babies experience grief.  I just wonder how it will present itself.  I pray that God will equip us with wisdom in how to best love and care for her through this process. 

Such a rush of emotions all over the board, every day right now.  But at the end of the rush is always joy that my Father is knitting our family together in all His perfect love and timing.  Prepare our hearts, oh Lord, for the road ahead.