Friday, April 18, 2014

Here I am, Send Me

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.”" Isaiah 6:8
I started praying that verse a lot in 2009.  Freshly retired from diving but not able to be a mom like my heart desired, I was lost. 

If you've never seen what I did for so many years,
here's a little snippet someone took at the 2008 Olympics Trials.

You may not realize it, but this crazy diver chick that likes to throw her body off of 3 story buildings in a single bound, twist, flip and go in the water with nary a splash, craves a little action and adventure.  So when my 3 story building was taken away and there was nothing to replace it, well, I didn't just feel lost, I was empty, confused, scared, aching, stir crazy... you get the idea.

I kept praying for God to send me because I didn't want to sit and be still and wait.  But I learned that I have to say "yes" before He tells me where to go and what it's going to look like.  Because if He lets me know where He's sending me, generally I'm going to argue, disagree or high tail it the other direction.  Hmmm, that actually reminds me of Jonah and Moses.  Guess we all have something in common.

As I have been learning to say "yes," (although I'm sometimes secretly hoping He'll send me a certain direction) I have discovered that the hardest yesses are usually the simplest ones.  Waiting for over 3 years to meet Zoe was my first one.  In case you've never had to knowingly wait that long for something, let me tell you- It. Is. Torture. But she was definitely worth the wait!

This weekend is Easter, and like many of you, I'm sure, my family and I had Easter plans.  Our church will be starting two services on Sunday, which made me excited for an early service that would give us time to have a family lunch and fun activities for the kids before nap time.  But suddenly we were down a staggering number of volunteers to help with the kids in the later service.  Shortly after my shock and dismay that no one was volunteering, I read a blog post that quickly convicted and humbled me. 

Easter is not for me or about me.  It's not about my well-intentioned, Jesus-focused kid activities.  It's not about spending time with family.  Easter is an opportunity to introduce people to Jesus by being like Him and telling people about Him.

"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45
"How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”" Romans 10:14-15

Sometimes God asks us to say "yes" to simple things like serving children for an hour and a half in place of our own plans. It sounds small and trivial on so many levels, but many of the families (kids and adults alike) that are coming this Sunday will have the opportunity to learn about Jesus and maybe start a relationship with Him for the first time.  Sometimes the little things are the big things in disguise.

So, yes, my husband and I will be serving in the late service.  And we hope to serve you there.


  1. Great Post! My husband and I served at our church's' Saturday Easter service! I didn't really want to, but I know that it's what we do...serve where we are needed! Because it's not about me! It's about teaching the kids the meaning of Easter! Thanks for sharing! I'm on Kristen's launch team and I was looking at the posts on her page! :) blessings,

    Andrea Portilla

  2. Thanks Andrea- for the comments and for being the hands and feet of Jesus!