Monday, May 12, 2014

The Beauty In My Fall

This week I read so many great articles from different perspectives about Mother's Day. Some reminded me about those that will be hurting today. Some had sweet kid moments that made me cry. Some prompted me to pray for Zoe's biological mom. Some inspired me to reach out to others before myself on this day. One in particular humbled me.

I'm competitive (I bet you never would've guessed). It's not always about being better than someone else though. For me it's usually about doing a thing the absolute very best it can possibly be done. I work hard at everything I attempt. I like working hard. I like it when I can see results from my work. That's fulfilling to me. That's pride.

But this has a hidden danger in it. I often work myself to the bone- all blood, sweat and tears style- to try and see these "fulfilling results" and to feel accomplished. Sometimes I succeed. And sometimes I fall.  Flat.  On.  My.  Face.  Then insecurity comes rushing in to squelch the day, quickly followed by a feeling of complete and utter failure. And I go from putting in my 110% to wanting to give up and quit, or just bang my head against the wall. (I'm kind of an all-or-nothing type personality.)

This being my innate way of functioning, I approached motherhood in the same manner. But there are a few reasons this doesn't work AT ALL:

  • The job of mom is 24/7. You can't be at 110% for 24/7. I tried. I made it maybe the first 36 hours.
  • You can't give up or quit. The kids are still there. They are still staring or crying at you, waiting.
  • You likely won't see results until you pay off your 30 year mortgage.
  • When you fall flat on your face, you will get stepped on, jumped on, climbed on, pulled on, drooled on, spit on, pinched, poked, scratched........
  • The little people you are trying so hard to impress and get results from may not ever acknowledge your efforts.
  • The amount of time, energy, hard work and passion you put into your kids will not always be reflected back through their actions.
  • You can work amazingly hard at getting everyone all put together but your 2 year old will spill the morning's embarrassing secrets to the grocery store checkout clerk.
  • If you have more than one kid, you are outnumbered. There is crazy strength in numbers.
  • A 2 year old throwing a tantrum does more brain damage to a parent than nails down a chalkboard.
  • At some point, you can't hold their hand or tell them what to do any more. They have to do it on their own.
But I'm discovering the beauty in my fall from pride. I'm learning that it's okay to not have it all figured out. It's not the end of the world if I screw up; it's the beginning of God. If I could do it all perfectly on my own, I wouldn't call out to God. If I didn't call out to God, I would never know the power of His unending, merciful, loving grace. His grace that I can't earn but He just wants to give me because He. Is. Enough.

"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

- 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Today I tried to make Mother's Day about more than me. I attempted to make it about others, but I failed again. My pride took over- inside I wanted to be acknowledged and pampered. My insecurity nearly drowned me, telling me I wasn't good enough because I didn't receive these things the way I wanted. I moped. I had my own little pity party. Then grace showed up.

Downloading my pictures from Zadok's baby dedication this morning, it hit hard. On my own I will continue to fail. I will always fall short because I'm human. But when I allow God to reign in my life, when I trust that He is enough, I'm showered in contentment and peace. 

 It's Arella's birthday so, yes, she was Cinderella at church today.

We dedicated Zadok this morning (as we did Zoe in 2013 & Arella in 2012), to commit before friends, family and God to raise our child up to love and follow Jesus. The big question we always ask is, "How in the world do I do that?"

"Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ."
-1 Corinthians 11:1

 Christ came to serve, not to be served. He said to love as He loved. 

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:13

When we begin to understand that depth of love He has for us, when we begin to learn how to accept that kind of love from Him, it should overflow to others around us, including our kids.

So how do we raise up our kids to love and follow Jesus? WE imitate Jesus. Kids learn from example, right? So...

We love. Jesus said to love God with all our heart, soul and mind. And to love others, even our enemies. (Matthew 22:37-39 & Matthew 5:43-47)

We read His Word. Jesus taught the scriptures and fulfilled them. (Luke 22:37)

We pray. Jesus prayed often and even told us how to pray. (Matthew 6:5-15)

We discipline. The Lord disciplines the one He loves. (Hebrews 12:6)

We offer grace. By grace we have been saved. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

We have new mercies every morning. His steadfast love never ceases. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

We love them right in the middle of desperate places. While we were still His enemies, God sent His Son to pay our ransom. (John 3:16-17)

Pastors prayed over the families dedicating children.

As we imitate Christ, contentment comes while pride and insecurity are washed away.

A messy, beautiful, chaotic, miraculous, unexhangeable and irreplaceable gift. - See more at:
A messy, beautiful, chaotic, miraculous, unexhangeable and irreplaceable gift. - See more at:
A messy, beautiful, chaotic, miraculous, unexhangeable and irreplaceable gift. - See more at:
A messy, beautiful, chaotic, miraculous, unexhangeable and irreplaceable gift. - See more at:
A messy, beautiful, chaotic, miraculous, unexhangeable and irreplaceable gift. - See more at:
A messy, beautiful, chaotic, miraculous, unexhangeable and irreplaceable gift. - See more at:

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