Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Fog Is Lifting

The last three months have been a bit foggy. Jobs were lost and sleep disappeared. We've been stumbling along, hands out in front attempting not to bump into anything, slightly disoriented in the haze of our sleep-deprived and over-stressed brains.

We've been down this road before. No jobs, no insurance and pregnant. It was a scary time, but it turned in to a beautiful, wonderful season of trust and growth. Because we trusted God, He grew us right out of our comfort zone and into dependence on Him and not this world.

I'll admit, it's still a bit scary. But because we've been down this road before, it makes it easier to trust God with the outcome. I know this time around the road has a different destination, but I trust the Driver 100%. I just threw the map out the window and have decided to enjoy the ride and any scenic stops we make along the way.

The fog seems to be lifting slightly, and we're starting to see a vague idea of what lies ahead.

That was a text conversation with Hubby this afternoon. This journey reminds me a lot of the first time I jumped off the 10 meter platform. I was scared and intimidated. My friends that had already jumped were watching and waiting for me to go. I didn't want to let them down. I didn't want to be a chicken. But I kept looking over the edge, and I was so overwhelmed with fear I was nearly paralyzed.

But in those moments at the top, I remembered I had climbed up there determined to jump off. My desire to jump was greater than the fear holding me captive at the top. Even though I was still scared, I gathered up the little bit of courage I did have and jumped.

This was my home on the 10 meter at the Woodlands Athletic Center
where I trained for 15 years.

It was terrifying and awesome all at once. And I wanted to do it again. I was hooked. When I got back to the top, the fear crept back into my brain, but the difference this time was I knew I would enjoy the free fall.

So this time, I'm choosing to enjoy the jump, the journey, the road ahead. Every time I have trusted God over believing the lie of fear, He has caught me. When I keep my eyes focused on Jesus, I don't sink below the waves of this world.

Thank You, Lord, for giving me the opportunity to take another leap of faith. Thank You for stretching me, growing me, encouraging me, and reminding me that You are bigger than any fear I face.  Thank You for telling me to join you on the water so I can focus on You instead of the storm.

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