Have you noticed that when you're not looking for something you never see it, but then when you are specifically trying to find something you see it all over the place? Like perhaps you never notice cars, but then you want to buy one. So you start looking at the different makes and models, and you begin to notice them all over the place. Or when you find out that you're pregnant you suddenly can't help but see babies everywhere you turn. You start to think, have there always been that many around me? How did I not notice this before?
I think it's very much the same with God. We write-off that He must not perform miracles any more because we don't see them. We say that He must not hear us because we can't tell if He's doing anything about it. We assume because bad stuff still happens in the world He must not care.
There is a huge flaw, you could even say lie, with this line of thinking.
We are the ones who have stopped looking and listening. Talking/praying/crying to God til you're blue in the face is absolutely pointless if you are not willing to wait and listen for a response. We all cry out when things aren't going the way we want, and that is good. A relationship has to have dialogue to be productive. But if it's one-sided, what kind of relationship is that? I have some friends who only talk to me when they want to vent. They just want me to listen. And that's great, I'm happy to be there for them. But they usually end the conversation before I can get a word in edgewise, before I can counter what they've said, and they never ask or care to know what is going on in my life. It's a very shallow, one-sided relationship.
Its easy to fall into this relationship with God because He's always there to listen. But we often don't want to hear His response because we already have a hunch what it is and it's not the answer we want, or we simply don't wait around to hear or see it, and we certainly most of the time fail to go looking for the answer in His word.
Deep thoughts on a sleep deprived 13 hour flight, I know. But a LOT has happened on this journey with Zoe where I have really had the privilege of watching God move up close and personal. I just wanted to share one that rocked my world before I left on this trip.
In a recent lecture I heard about Noah and the rainbow (Genesis 9:8-17), a great point was made. When you have kids and you promise to take them to the beach on Friday, they will ask you everyday, "Are we still going to the beach Friday?" They want to make very sure that you have not forgotten your promise and that you will make good on that promise! But of course you're not going to forget; you're the one planning the whole trip!
That's why God gave us the rainbow, not because He was going to forget and needed a reminder. The rainbow is to remind and comfort US that He does remember and will make good on His promise.
So the morning we were to leave, I sat crying at the kitchen table asking God to reassure me because I was scared over leaving my baby and then bringing another home. As I'm sitting there crying, my phone buzzes. I look over at the text message on my screen and my cries turn into huge sobs of joy. My dear sweet friend had been compelled to pray a Psalm for me and had written a prayer in the text asking God to deliver me from my broken heart over having my baby and adopting another. She was definitely listening and then obedient to share when she heard. And I am so very thankful and humbled.
God showed me a rainbow this morning. I know He hasn't forgotten me or my babies.